When David Blaine Met Trisha Paytas

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DAVID is in the library looking at a book about the fecal matter of ducks. TRISHA is wondering through with a pile of books in her hands. She doesn’t see DAVID as he is stood there reading with one eye closed. She bumps into him, knocking his book and all of hers to the floor.

TRISHA: Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I just did that. I’m so sorry. Are you ok? Did I hurt you? This happens all the time. You’d think by now I would be used to these huge cablonkers! Oh, is that your book?

DAVID: Yes

TRISHA: Interesting! So what is that the anatomy of a Duck or something like that? That’s awesome. Ducks are so cute. I love they “Quark” all around the pond. Wait a second… Do I know you? Are you that guy who always used to put 50 dollar bills between my butt cheeks.

DAVID: No.

TRISHA: Oh come on. I’m sure it’s you. I really recognise you. Were you the guy that always tried to lick my ear lobe when I was giving you a lap dance?

DAVID: No

TRISHA: Oh, I just can’t put my finger on it. What’s your name?

DAVID: …

TRISHA: Do you have a name? I mean, everybody has a name, right? I’m Trisha. What’s yours?

DAVID: I consider myself a showman, and I love magic, and I love art, and I love performance, and they’re all separate.

TRISHA: Oh, ok that’s cool! So what do you show people? Like, what is it that you show? To people.

DAVID: I show them the things that they thought were not possible. It’s up to them whether they believe them as truth.

TRISHA: I totally get you. Oh wow, this is amazing. I kind of do the same thing, right? So, I did this youtube video of me eating a banana and people are always commenting on it like, “What the hell did I just watch?” Or, “Did I just watch someone eat a banana?” So yeah I totally get you.

DAVID: Exactly.

TRISHA: Haha. This is so weird, I can really feel a connection between us. Can you feel it to or is it just me?

DAVID: I believe that a fear life, brings a greater fear of death.
TRISHA: Yeah, yeah I totally get that. It’s like a philosopher once said, You only live once. I think it was Jesus. But yeah I get you. Oh my god wave length – you and me!

DAVID: …

TRISHA: So what is your name? I feel like I’ve connected with you on a spiritual level butI don’t even know your name yet.

DAVID: We are all capable of infinitely more than we believe.

TRISHA: But who are you, mystery man?

DAVID walks off, leaving Trisha still standing there for a moment. TRISHA gets out her camera and starts vlogging.

TRISHA: Holy crap on a cracker! You guys just missed the best thing ever! I just met Drake!

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